Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
