hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
