i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
