she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
