so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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