then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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