butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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