dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
