mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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