all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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