so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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