We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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