On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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