hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
