my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
