If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
