I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
