Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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