i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
