yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
