Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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