I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
