You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
