stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
