This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize