All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
