what if every blade of grass was a penis?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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