So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
