I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
