cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
