this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
