Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
