I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
