she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
