Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
