Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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