You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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