id be glad to
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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