did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
