Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
porn star boner night. come get it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
