I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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