Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
