I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
