I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize