Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
