bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
