I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
