I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
