I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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