You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Girls should come with a carfax report
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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