Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
