There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
