I want to have your abortion
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
