I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
