can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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