In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
