Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize