Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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