We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize