She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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