I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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