her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
