do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
