Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
