i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
